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| Canada for Sale |
Earlier today, in an unprecedented move, Emperor Harper announced the greatest budget surplus in Canadian history - a whopping $10 trillion dollars.
"Clearly, our Great Leader is truly great and a master in economics, because he was able to achieve a $10 trillion budget surplus!" said Finance Minister Joe Oliver.
Back in April, our Great Leader achieved a $1.4 billion surplus by selling the government's remaining shares in General Motors, which were valued at $2.1 billion dollars. Without the sale, the budget would have had a $700 million dollar loss.
Despite the fake surplus and bribery checks sent to parents across the country, Harper's Corporate Party of Canada was still losing ground in the polls against the NDP.
Harper then decided he would extrapolate the trick and create a nice $10 trillion dollar fake surplus to make him look good for the elections. The new $10 trillion surplus was achieved through the sale of all Canada's assets including mountains, rivers, cities, the Parliament buildings and his hair insurance.
"Look at me! I'm the Lord of Economics!" proclaimed Emperor Harper.
Meanwhile, Canada lost another 6,400 jobs in June.
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